Category Archives: Writing


Nothing says South-bye like some panty huffing.
“Is that salmon? When the fuck did I eat salmon?

When you gotta go, you gotta go. This guy proves that point quite well. It doesn’t matter that he’s on camera wearing pink girly undies, nor that he is sticking his nose in them as he vacates his bowels into a trash can. He has absolutely no higher priority in life at this moment than spraying mud-colored fast food remnants into a sidewalk trash can.

Sure, he probably could have taken note of the warning signs earlier in the night. He could have gone home at the first flop of his stomach so he wasn’t pinching wet farts until it was too late. But as many of us have learned, we can ignore the hell out of some obvious indications that we should be paying attention to.

Continue reading Priorities